was a skinny one from dacia. looked a bit like iulia but slender and better looking. darker. uporight sani. wanted s fac neprotejat. she said no. was surprised. I am temoted. she opend her gura. looked deep in. was ullimuniated. could put it in there. nimic fost intamplat. why do I have such reveries? eu s gandes din s exploreaza alti partile. but I have no intntion of doing so. like was speaking to william neath. one must be glad of what one has and not jeopradise it.
greatest funeral. 185 heads of state. 100 came
10 million mourners. live broadcast
most photogrpahed of all time. poignant notes from family.
contrast with diana 25 years ago almost to the week.
grenadier guards. royal navy. roayl company of archers. yeomen of the guard.
blacj head to toe. black armbands. black of thickest crepe.
magnidicent music. the best of brtish. ceremonial. flawless. showcase the millenium old architecture. what other country can compete with this
cultural superpowr.
pomp and circumstance. choreography pagenatry.
mourning oveer. purge one’s sadness. sense of loss. transition. from elizabethen to a caroline age.
lugubrious
reprs of all faiths. planned for decades.
funeral procssion.
sombre.
mournful. tristful. grief laden. maudlin.
sadness. bereavement . sorrow.
andre never seen again.
=================
abed with hill tree. whom did I dream of ? But he whom the reverned father accused of sellinf cheap olives. I remember it was when anne widdecombe was there.
then I bethought me that the olive seller is long dead. but if he is deceased who is abed beside me? Twas not erotic. Then I realised. I recalled that oliver seller and tree hill share a familiya. how curious. why do I reiminisce on him? Both skinny. 19 years dead. there is so much macabre talk at the mo.
that was a few nughts backs
then yesternight I bedreamt me of a youngish oriental female – no one I know. this female from catahy had been in the sea for hours. wayer pressure had not let her empty her bladder. finally she was out of the brine and able to emptyty it. I awoke needing to micturate.
speaking to men and women in their 20s about the bar. were they doing it ? hOW Hard it was.. all white britons. intel.ogent and well spoken. what can it signify> consicous of age and difficulties. some wore specs.
I bedreamt me I was in a college. Twas that one. But inside it did not resemnlty it. seemed older and nobler. tHERE wre interior stone walls with relief sculuptrie sin the. I went from this hall into that – great wooden doors and bhammer beamed roofs. Young men and women sat at long table chatting amibale but quietlt. No one looked at me
why was I there? Some had gowns on. seemed relaxed. a weekened.
Mansfield – makes me think of David westcott due. said to me in northans – you get to 40 and ask yousefl what have I done with my life? stayed with me
consciousc of passage of time. yesterday cast my mind back 25 years. saw on the been twas a quarter century since princess diana’s funeral..I remember it like it was this morning. that arvo. games banned. walking around. going into library that arvo. funeral procession on the telly. O made some snide remark. I contemned the publicw ho mourned someone whom tey never met. mass psychosis. such contemptiable hyertdua
that night the abbye came. sat beside hayley. told her a stupid take of great uncle gabrial but pretened twas my grandfather being in rome and dropping out or ordination at the last minute. trying it on with all. ni idea how to behave rebuffed. scary. seeing m dame bipping . cringe woethy. had a cup of coffee. what to do with the spoon? Had to be impressive and flinf ti across the room. do not think anyone notice
some on the dance floor moved there hair and sunater off. jumping so haevily that the music cut out for a second. wood chided me. what a calamity . desperatr to make progress at that age.
someone said to me I was drunk when I made a suggesiton. I said I was not. she realised I spike the truth. this tale was retailed to carl who told me. how wicked it was to separate us from them.
I was not ashamed. next day the old biys came back. went around with video camera. talking about cerma man crl. filmed all over. m t p photoed me on college frield. wanted to be a journo . wish I had been. going to the central feeding comple.. helping myself to snacks. was like crhsi evens so I thouyght
button holing an kld boy hAD been n tunisia. he mentioned he station there in WW2. He was stunned I knew where it was near youks les bain. POW in italy. msut all be long dead now
I rmember an old boy coming up to me and saying do you know when I left coll it was 1923 and I said o hgreally wan walked off. poor thing. tool the wind out of bis sails. I am guilty stricken. I can see he paused and thoyght about it. would he bother? would a boy care? Or think him a silly old man.
I remmeebr filming the game from atpp the all and the micor phoen havnign down. middle aged old boy sauing illeyal recoridng
interivw acdgd about field game. draw v saistcotry result he said.
and so on. speaking to jAQUES Now dead. he said twas right to carry on with reunin day after funeral. was 100 years od the assocaiton/
it is all a v long time ago. wish I had taken difrernt paths. perhaps the ghost of dew represents that to me. when he said that to me had 6 months left to live . bowel cancer. I need to eat more healthily.
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