Monthly Archives: January 2014



I had a dream about being in an airpirt and seeing Davood and his son some way in front of me. I pulled my blue water prooof cap low over my face. I tried to be inconspicous but at my height that is tricky. Stooping only calls more attention to myself. There were not so many people around. I was only a little nerous. Davood turned around in a corridor and greeted me kindly. He said something courteous. This was totally unexpected. He recognised me. His son looked at me neutrally. I said he would do great.


I am nervous about him. Can he harm me – the father? Will I get the cash? 


I dreamt about Emma Jane whom I have not seen for years? I did not fancy her so much and never got nookie out of her. What can it mean?=


Last night I had a long and complex dream. It was about being trapped sowmeherre with a group of people. Mostly men my age. I watched Argo last night and that may have something to do with it.

Newspaper headlines.


Daily Mail:

Labour plot to turn Kate Middleton black.

Labour will turn your children gay

EU plans to give Buckingham Palace to asylum seekers.

Labour plans compulsory sex change for taxi drivers.

Ed Miliband grows horns and a tail

Lib Dem plot to get the Taleban to rape all housewives.

All teachers are paedos.

Labour brings back the death penalty for getting a mortgage.

EU plans to change our official language to Muslim.

Political correctness not quite sane.


The Guardian:

Tories plan Holocaust of social workers.

Tory plot to put a swastika tattoo on all single mothers

Cameron is Hitler.

Etonians on horseback hunt ethnic minorities

Thatcher invented AIDS

Obsorne reintroduces slavery

Rich people have more money than the poor!

Public school bastards have jobs.

Criminal sent to prison!

People eat cows!

Ethnic minority person not awarded A* grade because he failed proves racialism

Nazis leave Tory Party for being too extreme

Tories drop nuclear bomb on Livepool. No one notices any difference.

Goals should be abolished in football.

Global warming caused by Bullingdon club smoking crack.

The Rennard escapes!


Lord Rennard has been more or less exonerated by an internal Liberal Democrat inquiry into allegations against him. Lord Chris Rennard is a Lib Dem peer and was for several years their head of elections. Lord Rennard stood accused of propositioning several women and touching others in a way that they did not want. A Queen’s Counsel was tasked with investigation these allegations. The QC concluded that there was a less than even chance that Rennard would be convicted of such things. Are such matters criminal? Propositioning someone is not but touching someone against their will is trespass to the person.

It is very probable that at least a few of the allegations are true. 

These women should have responded by telling the peer where to go, walking away or giving him a good slap. Some of these Lib Dem ladies have gone public and said this goes on all over Westminster. Flirtation is not so bad. At some point you are asking men not to be men. Is sexual desire a crime?  Chatting people up is what fun people do. I realise the unwanted attention should stop. The peer in question is about 5 foot in both heigh and breadth so it is unlikely many females would throw themselves at the red faced blubber monster. 

We must not be too touchy and too protective.  Grow up and accept the most boys are straight and we fancy girls. An unwanted gropw merits being hit. This deals with the matter much more quickly and there is no long term damage for either person. Of course I do not want women molested. I also wanted us free to flirt and form relationships. Some boys are afraid to express their romantic feelings and yes, lust, for women these days. No wonder so many people are unhappily unmarried.

Nick Clegg is said to be deeply frustrated. He cannot throw the peer out of the party. I think Clegg has done right in not speaking out publicly. He has not acted politically – he has let justice take its course. The PR savvy thing to do would have been to instantly expel Lord Rennard and issue a very strong public denunciation of him. This would have killed the issue and appeased the feminazis. But it would have been totally unfair and denied Lord Rennard a fair hearing. Lib Dems say they believe in the presumption of innocence and in fair trials so they must uphold these principles in their internal dealings.

Ed Miliband


He is out of his depth. His wide staring eyes betray a startling naivete. Why does he always seem so surprised that a Conservative dominated government does not pursue Labour policies? He is like something out of a 50s American B movie – the first one who saw the creature. This pampered son of privilege as never worked outside politics and it shows. I can never see him getting the keys to Number Ten Downing Street. I not only want him to lose but I believe he will. I am not always like this. Ii reviled Blair but recognised in 1996 that he would win the election the following year.

Miliband had only been in Parliament for one term before he was elected leader. Cameron did the same and in both cases it was unwise. It worked out for Cameron though.

Why this daft cult of youth? We have people living longer. Our greying population means we should have more respect for older leaders rather than younger ones. Gladstone was Prime Minister aged 85 and that age was almost never reached back then. It would be like having a Prime Minister aged 105 now. 

Miliband slurs his speech and is generally stiff and humourless. I think he is genuine though. His brother David might have been an even worse choice. He was too geeky and a blatant policy wonk. Liam Byrne would have been a good pick. His working class background would have gone down well with many Labour supporters. He had hinterland. Diane Abbot it very genial but her policies are too extreme and she has never been a minister. It is  shame Jack Straw did not stand. He is impossible to dislike. He has ample experience and commands respect right across the political spectrum. He was not too old but some ageists think that he was.

Pornifying mainstream film titles.


Many of these are not original


Lock cock and two choking mammals

End of gays

Schindler’s fist

Forest hump


The world is not a  muff

Hairy Potter and the Philosopher’s bone

Raiders of the lost arse.

Womb raider

Quantum of sore arse


E3 – the extra testicle

SHAVING RYAn’s privates



SOme need no changing:

The Merry Wives of Windsor

As you like it


The Queen

12 years a slave

Child friendly Geography jokes


What is the slowest city in the world? O-slo.

What are the slowest countries in the world?  Slovakia and Slovenia.

What nationality is always in a hurry?  Russians

What is the featheriest country of all? Turkey?

What is the sorest country? S-pain.

What is the slipperiest country? Greece.

Which country is a woman? Georgia.

In which country does everyone wear a tie? Thailand.

Which is the newest country? New Zealand.

Which is the coldest country? Chile.

Which country has a lot of cranes? Ukraine.

Which country has a rack? Iraq.

Which country likes to pack its bags? Pakistan.

Which is the noisiest country> Bangladesh.

What is the hottest city in the world? Berne

What is the smallest city? Cork – it can fit in a bottle.

What is the cleanest city of all? Washington.

What is the tinniest country? Canada.

What city wanders? Rome.

What is the homiest city? Stockholm.

What city is always growing? Dublin – doublin’ – geddit?

Who is the roundest man in London? Albert Hall.

Who is the tallest man in London? Big Ben.

A dream about school days


I was in a car driven by a silver haired Romanian. He was a lawyer aged 50 or so and very athletic. I met him for real 3 years ago. He driove too fast and broke lights – we almost hit cars. I was scafred. He was driving me to tutor his son. The other cars were all old bangers.

We pulled up and a low rise and seemingly derlict building. I was to teach his tot who s about 7. He saif that hsis on found my lessons dull and to make them more engaging. wE WERE N CORASE GRASS AND RUBBISH LAWY AROUND/


I went in to the hulding and no one was there.

Later I dreamt that I was in school again. We went into assembly and sat daown. I was a pupil. The etchers were no thter yet. Only boys were around. We were in blazer and trosuers – no tailsuits. I do not know where this was supposed to be. SOmeone told me that my name was written on the lectern. I went up there and saw someone has graffitisied the lectern and put my name on it. I rubb3ed it out but it was sitll visible. I wiould be held accountable for something I had not done.

I did not get caught. There was another worrying episode that I do not now remember

Daria asked me about music schools in London. Was one in Fulham any good? I said it was ok but there were better ones. She is te skinny 40 year old I met on the yacht in July


the night before last I had anxiety dreams about contradicotry CVs and stuff like that. I was worried that Bonearse would catch up with me.


Dreams of recent weeks


Weeks ago I was twitching in my sleep. At each peep  I thought someone was about to batter down my door and attack me. I dreamt og hiding in a portakabin – it had two storyes.A ginger Saffa came for me. I hid in a cuprboard. But he was bursting in. He was about to get me.


I have hada dream about the teo Russian families I worked for this summer. Bboth were in the same one===================================

I had a dream about being in Tangier. I remember that urbane and geled hair Moroccan hotel employee with perfect English. I dreamt og being in the cave of Hercules. Later I saw some girls in strong bikinis. A swarthy girl wore a red one and her arse was fantastic. She turned to face me. She had long black hair and brazen expression. I awoke with a hardon.