State of the Union
My fellow americans,
I like Scotland. My mom is from serious Scotland
Edinboro is in Scotland. You call it Edinburger>? I love it. I love it!
You guys got food even shitter than America. I love it.
I am here with my wife. Marla. Is it Marla now? Melissa? Whoever.
I saw some really hot leggy blone called Ivanka
looked kind of familiar#
but she is married to jewish dweeb called jared
I will call in a drone strike on him.
I met this old German dyke called Angela Markel.
She said please do not nuke North Korea.
I said you must have blood coming out of your wherever.
#I said who cares if ten million little yellow bastards get killed.
Why not blow up North Korea. It does not have a trump tower. Must be a shit hole.
But I like Kim Jon ON
His hairstyle makes mine look ok.
He is a great leader. Really tough.
The North Korean media respect him. I want the Washington press to do the same for me.
I want you to know that I am a Christian. I believe in Jesus and I believe in Christ. I believe in Hail Mary.
shouldn’t that be Mary Hale?
I believe in Jesus and his 12 reindeer.
I believe in the Bible. Not a lot of peopLe knows that it was written by Mr Bull. That is why it is called by Bull
I read the Bible. It goot some real nice photos.
I like the ten amendments#
Thou shalt own a gun
thou shalt shoot ethnic minorities
thou shalt never tell the truth.
thou shalt commit adultery
thou shalt commit sexual assault
thou shall fuck the poor.
thou shalt use foul language all the time
thou shalt defraud people at the university that you name after thyself
hE WHo lives by the gun shall not die by the gun.
I was there to see the president.
Then this guy called Mr Pope came out.
He was a Hispanic drag artist in a white dress.
I aod fuck off Mr Pope. where is the president?
That Mr Pope had all his faggot drag arists in black dresses
I never did get to meet the president of Vatican.
I said too the KIng of Saudi I said Salmon – Your majesty, motherfucker – never let those muslim assholes in here
he said nothing
I said Salmon you gonne help me kill ISIS
he said bro – we send money, guns and men to ISIS.
I said I love ISIS too. They say rape is good and I do too.
I never ever sad I WAS AGAINST isis/
that never ever happened. fake news.
SO I SAID TO salmon king – muslims are good but do not let any arabs into Saudi.
I HATE james mc cain. He is a coward, got captured in vietnam
I never got captured in Nam.
I was unable to go to Vietnam. had a broken finger nail.
I am a hero. I was brave to go to Fordham. I need a congressional medal of honr
#I MET manuel macaroni
wyy are there African americans in france
you got a basketball team?
they are dumb those African americans in france. they speak french.
I SPEAK LIKE WASHINGTON
e illegal immigrant. unless you are a hooker from slovenia
illegal immigrtans have to do the jobs that no American will do no matter how good the money. jibs like – be my wife.
my wife s English is real fucked up but still it is gooder than mine.
# Cubans gt back to that cube or square. especially ou little marco Rubio or ted cruz.
”Father I cannot tell the truth.”
Melania marrie me because I got ten billion and big hands.
at the wedding ”in sickness and in health. for richer or for //// even richer.”
if you lose your money I run off with the tennis coach.
I am the best president on African American since …. Jefferson davis.
I am real Christian.
Jesus said – greater love hath no man than this —
he name all his buildings after himself.
I gave hope hicks a job as my media boss. she said I know nothing about the job. I said I know nothing about my job. You look sexy – what more could I want in a woman.
hope has a boyfriend called rob porter. mormon missionary. real righteous guy – used to beat the shit out of his wives. two wives , mormon
rob porter said – mr pres what do I say if my wife has two black eyes. I said I don’t know rob what do you say to her? He said – I say nothing to her. I told her twice already.
he is a real good. guy. so proud of him. the best American values. the best of the gop.
I am a real Christian. God made the world in 6 days. We buuld trump tower faster
I do not believe te big bang theory. That is a porn film
I am in good healthy
I am against illegal immigrants ex[ect nude models from Slovenia
Who says madness always comes with genius
I am not in the KKK. I was rejected for being too racist.
I hate shit hole countries. Let’s turn American into a shit hole country
No healthcare for the poor
out of control defecit.
highr education unaffordable for the working class.
a very high murder rate
a polluted environment.
Who is president of Mexico? Des Pacito
I am seven foot tall
I am tallest man in wolrd
I grew 11 inches sine my 70th birthday
I weight 100 pounds. I am anoxerics. I know coz I look in mirro and see fat guy but I know I anot fat
I take it a day at a timestop bullygn me. stop cuver bullying me. so unfair horrible
I am an iron man. I am an olympci gold medlaistin marhton and wieht lifting and gymansutcs
I get pety of exefis tweeint and cllinf rot ak wats
I lift weight – bruegrs to m ace
people sa I am not sophsitcaito because I eat amddonladsI am roayst. I eta burg king too fck the
I am rea brave
I dodged the farft
STDS in thr 70 swer emy vietna
I ma toygh. I do not fele inadqute I keep saying I ma tough that rpvoes I am tough tough gisy always tlak about how toy they ar.e they are conattly forced to say it
I fele very cofmtbal in my range skin
I do not voe cpesta.e that is why I sround myself with geberals,
Here we at ein the capital of our nation – Washington State
It is named after our first president
King George Washington III
He was a great guy – because he owned slaves
I quote Washington ”Father – I cannot tell the truth.”
America American American – I am patriotic. I said it more than you,
America first. America last. America minus zero. OI gt a flag badge, I got USA underwear. I shit red white and blue
immigrants are filth. Immigrants will only do the job no other American will do. Such as marry me
I am greta at economics. it is drip down. like when a hooker pisses on me it drips down
ther is a goden circle doing a golden shower.
do not believe steele. her is british. brits at enemy. we fought them for 250 years. steele steals
the other countr well they are friends and we never disagree with them
everyone on the world lies except me.
mainstream media lies. new York times lies except when it says smething I like
fox never lies.
I speak to the mainstream media because they lie
I am great bsuinessm ann I went bankrupt foru tmes. I am going to make americ abankrupt.
I like piers morgan because he never lies. He did not get fired form the daily mirror for faking photos accusing british troops of pissing in iraqis.
he publushed fake diaires.
nine elevel was fake news. It was the FB that did it. liberal media did it
I wanted no limite on spying. warrantless wire tapping.
I love law enforcmenet. I am tough. I love torture. that is why I like the Chinese.
#I am taught. I hate spying on my people.
dinosaurs killed by the manstream mredia.
nobody voted for Clinton expect the mainstream media.
press say bad stuff about me
Are we living in nazi Germany? Nazi Germnay was famous for free press and attacks on the president.
we are not in Nazi Germany yet. my drem has not tet some true
I want those big parades, blind obeidnce. one party state. blnd loyalsy. sychopahtnic media. persucation of rleigoous minorities.
truth is a lie.
I donated to Clinton. clinto does not eist. it is a lie. mainstream media.
I Donald J trump deny all onvoleetn in the like of donal J trump
Trump meets Theresa May ===============
Posted on December 1, 2017 by Calers
I went t england. to meet the pry minister. I
I met some old english wman. name was theresa may
i SAID i AM GONNA PAY you a compliment.
for a foreigner your english is not that shit
for a woman your age you are not that ugly.
your problem is you got no tits
I got bigger tits than you
your hands are smaller than mine
why you so pissed iff. you bleeding out of your wherever?
no you are too ood for tat
gee it sure was real nice taliking to ylu
can I meet yhe pry minister now?
why the ell the call the governor of this state a pry ministe.r is it coz he like prys.
who won the war
I am pissed if with fmaily life
# my youngest kid is 11 but i NOT HADan erection in 20 years
how come my youngest son looks just like my wife’s persoanl trainer.?
I hate racism if it is against whites.
I am a president. like our irst president. georgr washsingotn dc
#I am the greatest amier ian since jefferson davis.
I got a small loan
built a business.
VISIT TO CHINA
I went to shit hole country called china
not a lot of peoole know it has got a town called beijing
I am a diplomat. I respect other cultures. I know how to be polite. nobody knos that beter than me
looks even worse than Detroit.
so I am speaking to the Chinas people and I said what is it with you? Why so many Asian around Looks like I am in san fracnsio
or an ivy league college. you are not democrats are you?
some if you kids speak English better than my cabinet
but look at all those signs. your handwiritn it errible
so then I made a big speech in china in the great hall of the people I said
I am here for high jinks and high chinks
that was ajoke. cut it out with the booing already#
people who boo me get carried iut in stretechers
I am real happy to be here in Japan.
some guys stood uo and said excyse me mr pressient but this is china not japan
what do you mean this is not Japan. Fuck you. He said how you know my name
I said how dare you say I am wrng. I am a geniys. I am never wrong. If say this is japane then this is Jaan. Ok yoi dumb Chinese fuck=============
Ya so yoou chinas people. remember pearl habour.
we kicked your asses. I saw the movie. Ben Affleck and liv tyler.
so shut up or we boomb you again
what do you mean that was the japs who did it?
the jasn were on our side
what are you stupid or something/ ?
The jaos are on our side. that is why we got the military based there.
while I am here in china can I get some sushi?
I could beat you assholes at judo any day.
then I said to this Chinese dude
you are a snub nosed , slit eyed little yellow bastard mr president. that is why I respect you
you are great president of great people,
they said you want to see the great wall
I said I tld you thse Mexicans motherfuckers would pay fr it
it is a great wall byult by great people and a great country.
they said no it is between us and the miongols
# I said I told you them Mexicans were dumb
in china they like their old king. name is mao. or mo. not mohammed is it?
got his face on all the money. I want that too.
I like the Chinese vcoz they are small. some of them got smaller hands than me
then this jap comes up to me and says
I went to trump univerisyt and I was robbed because it is not a university. you lie to e. give me my mney back. you sent me prmotitonal video yu do on it . trump university no a university no registered as a univerisyt. state of new yokr say it not a univerisyt an dis fraud.
I saidI never said that trump university was a univerisyt. I never said it was anything to do with me. The word trump is ,,,, latin for….. best in the wrld
I said, I dondlad J trump have never heard of Donald J trump
that is the maiabtream media
the liberal media
you Chinese need to become American, everine wasn’t to be use. we are the master race
look at our constition. demoacacy
artiles. one. people must choose the dumbest dn the dishnestst person to be presidet.
two. the man with the fewst votes win
three.e black people are not born in America]
four. wimen cannot be presiset
five. rape is not rape if you are called trump
six. if you do not wnt something t be true then it is not.
HARRY INVITED ME TO HIS WEDDING
omebody buy charl rose a bath robe for chsitmas
that he molest women. he should not do that. that is my jib.
harry prince getting married. believe me
I will read bible at wedding
jesis wrote biblr in peffect English. was he mexics with name life jesus.
I got invited to the wedding of some ghetto chick called Meghan Markle. believe me
she is a maid. seriosuly.
tahnksThanks for distracitn attention from all my scandas and Michael Flynn.
I THINK SHE IS AN Obama. Not born in America but American anyway. seriously guys/.
going to some weird state called England. Is it in new England? believe me
this black chick is marrying some basketball player called harry prince. seriously
I suppose coz he plays basketball he gotta marry a black woman. believe me.
Thousands of people come to the wedding – to look at me. seriously.
as this ghetto chick walked down the aisle I am gonna grab her by the pussy.# believe me
there were prayers. seriously.
I love Jesus. believe me . Jesus loves me more than anyone else. he speaks to me. seriously .=============
I WENT TO SAUDI
I met this dude who is king of Saudi. His name is Salman. I said you the man. bro.
I said salmon – you are te king and you name is a fish so you are like king fish.
He said he did not undestand.
I said you are a real dumb ass because you do not speak the American language
I did real good at school, they learned me the alphabet. I know it all the way from A to X.
I am the greatest brain. I am the intelligentest.
They gonna give me the no bell prize for having no bells. I got balls. I got five balls! because I am such a man. And my wiener is real big. You want to see? I like to show it to little kids in central park.
Anyway – salman said you know you said you hate radical Islamic extremism
I said sure I hate radical Islamic extremes.
he said I am the king of Islamic Islamic extremism
I said I never said that. fake news. That was the mainstream media. They are such liars the liberal media
I love radical Islamic extremism. By the way are all th women? I want to grab some pussy. I only touch it f the women does not want it . so boring if she does.
He said we dress women in black. you never see their face unless she is at home and you get to fuck her.
I sad that is so cool. I never want t speak to women. just touch them. they are not human
I do not want a woman who is smart or has power. they scares me shitless.
It is so cool. I never speak to my wife. What the hell is that cold bitch’s name again?
she never smiles. lAST TIME she smiled was when I told her I am impotent.
Salmon King said h did not understand. I said sorry asshole I do not speak Islamicish.
I said why are men dancing with men? Gay pride is real cool. I am a big supporter of gay rights. I love those faggots.
I hated it when that muslim shot those faggots in Orlando.
Salman said I am Muslim
I said I never said that. fake news. that is the liberal media lying again.
I said I love Muslims. I even speak Muslimish. I even read your Muslim Bible. It is by some guy. Called Ali Akbar. You god is called mo. was he in the simpson
He said do not call us jews. I said I hate Jews. I am not a jew. My mom came from a city called Scotland. My dad’s family they came from a state called Germnay. it is east of Long Island.
Salman says he loves new York. he went there one time. He fucked a hooker. some model called melania came from some place called Slovenia.
#I said that s funny. I remember I fucked a ooker called Melania from some place called Slovenia or was it Slovakia or slow vacuum cleaner? What the hell> Some shit hole country. I think it is in Canada. she spoke like a down syndrome.
Salman said but you do not really hate Muslims.
I said not. I only hate Muslims kike Obama,. You know the sort of Muslim who is a Christian and goes to church. They are real bad. And black.
Slaman said his religion is very strict. adultery is punished with death.
That is real cool.
I said I never committed adultery – well not that many times.
I said I am a Chrsitan you know that.
then I went to Idaly to see some Latino old faggot called Francis Pope.
I said I faggot. Why the hell does my team make me meet you? ok out reach to the gay community.
He said he is a Christian. Prays to Jesus and to the virgin mary.
I said I pray to Jesus. Isn’t he some Mexican dude? Bad hombre
I said Mary is a virgin? Not if she met me? well I have not been able to get it up for ten years even with viagra. I could gra her by the….
I said I kow the bible
fuck the poor.
kill other ethnic groups.
get as much money aspossible
never ever tell the truh
awlays talk about how great you are.
#that is why I founded trump university. to spread the message that I am the greatest.
I am an intellectualist.
I wance read all the way to the end – pof a page.
TRUMP ADDRESSES THE NATION
I love America
I emt king of sauid arabia. He said his country was called Arabia. but his last name is saud so they called the country Saudi because his family is so rich. His people are called saudis
I want to rename Americ as Trumpy America. Americans will be called Trumpies.
I said to salmon king lets attack Iran becase they are Muslim
I hate Iraq because they want nukes so we will nuke Iran. Iraq? Iran . why do they keep changing the name of their country. Iran 0 damn Arabs. What is the difference in one letter . They are all Pakistanis.
They are Shia or sunny? Are you sure you are Shia? Or is it shearer? Sonny or Sony?
What? Nuke Teheran. who gives a shi’ite.
I read the Bible.
jesus was registered repub;ican
Jesus told a lot of stories called parallels. He said about poverty
amn with 2 shirts must give both to the man with 200 shirts.
remember the amendments? Though shalt give no healthcare to the poor.
The poor are evol and must die.
Obama is not American. African Americans are not American. Only whites are American. We were here first
No Hispanics. They took over California. They gave it Spanish names like Los Angeles and San Francisco
San Antonio and Nevada and Florida.===================================
EUROPEI recently went on a trip to a country called Europe.
I met the President of France land who is some kid called Manuel Macaroni. I also met his grandma. She was so old I did not even grab her pussy
I said Manuel why you got that dumb name? People might think you are a Mexican illegal immigrant.
I told President Macaroni that he is a great president of a great county in a great part of the world.
Macaroni is dumb because his English sounds funny. His english sounds even funnier than my wife’s . what is her name?
I had to stay at some shit hole hotel called the Elysee Palace.
My hands are a lot bigger than Macaroni;s hands.
I said my wiener is bigger than yours. want to compare sizes?
French food is real shit. They don t have trump steaks.
Some french women eat even less than my wife. that is so sexy.
I said why don t you destroy that Eiffel tower and we can build a trump tower.
When I was in Europe I met the Queen of Europe. She is a lesbian called Angela Markell.
I said to the old dyke that I can speak her language real good because I am real smart,. I speak EUROpeanish
Angela needs a face lift. Then she wont have to smile. my wife cannot smile even if she has an orgasm. she gets an orgasm every time I give her another million dollars.
but my wife never had a face lift no way , women who have face lifts should be insulted
worst thing about france is everybody gets healthcare. that is dangerous. rich people have to pay tax there. it is so unfair.
I told Ms Markell that I really like that European dude Hitler who killed all the Muslims in world war two .
I hate Muslims too unless they are rich. We don’t want no Muslimism in America.
In Europe they use to have a real nice wall in BER lin. They used to shoot any eastern dude who tried to come into the American zone. That was real nice. I want to build a wall like that and kill all them brown people. I do not want Native American in the USA. Whites were here first!
I said to the dyke queen why don’t you have a statue of Hitler up. You used to have lots of them up . then all those democrats made you take them down
It is so politically correct not to honour Hitler and his heritage. He was tough on terrorism. he did worse than water boarding.,
he had a total and complete shut down on muslims coming in because they are different and it makes him popular to hate them.
I went to some place called Britain. Guess what they speak English there too.
Americans went to that country to teach the British our language. The Brits liked it so much that they called their country England – you know like English
I gate it when it when the britis call themselves englush
you are not a langae
there is this real ugly place called Buckingham palace. I said knock it down and out a gold course there.
I met President Putin.. He is a real good guy. He promised me that he did not hack crooked Hillary. He was real insulted by the accusation.
I felt so sad for him. I never want to hurt anyone s feelings.