Accents from outside the British Isles. =========

Standard

Black south African.

I would like to thank you for your support

In the anti apartheied struggle. It was  along walk to freedom

when I was imprisoned on robben island

# for many years my spirits were buiyed up

by fraternal greetings from people all around the globe

who were engaged in similar battles for self assertion and national salvation

I was filled with a patriotic fervour when I pondered on these kindred spirits who were

engaged in similar revolutions for the uploftment of all mankind

===============

white south african

hello how’s it? My name is flippie van der velded and I am from jo burg

if you want to get to the spring bok bar then do down to the traffic circle and take the second exit

when you get to the robitis turn right? Ok. there you can have some biltoong at the braai.

There are some really cool people from UCT at the party there.

=============

NIGERIA

I am the right reverenda Englishman akintundge

I am the pastor of tower of praise church. the goals of our church are to evangaise for our lord and saviour jesus chirst

to acquire real property bith in Nigeria and abroad.

we preach the proepseoty gospel. give money to the pastr and the lord will give you back ten times more

# it is nt a bad invesmnet. if you have faith

what did the thtee wise men bring to the baby jesys They bring hm gold. so if you are ise bring me gold

Me and my wife winnifred and vaee married for many etars, . bre fruitual and mutlipl. do ot the good book say?

we awere belessed with our girls damsel and immaculate.

then we have the boys Ezekiel. melchiziedek, Israel and englishman

 

===========

Arab

I am a paediatrician and I work at the hospital in sauid arabia

I looked after the very sick kids

it is a hard work but somebody has got to do it and I am a very nicee guy

I am working for the Aramaic pil company

of couse I am a muslm so I believe in allah

I do not like the people of Israel so much. I support my brother in a Palestine.

not all arabs know how to ride the camel. If you think that we all ride camle then you are stupid

I will go and drinka pepsi

 

============

Indian

I am from India. The city of Mumbai. Before freedom Britishers were here

they called it Bombay.

I do not so much like the Pakistani people. they put the bomb into Bombay

I love old India too much.

If you get in a soup you can call me.

If the police stop you they might ask for for some bucks. If you pay a crore to these goondas they will make some adjustment

this happen to me thrice. I am paying rupees five lakh

are you marriage? What is your post? What is your father’s post?

put your tongue on the top of your pallet and curry favor.

 

========

Singapore

I am Sinapore people. we speak English very well but sometimes it is singlish

we just make a few mistake lah

sometimes we mixin in Chinese mandarin, catonese or malay phrases.

some people do not know what is properly englisg and whgat is not

they not saying the and a that is wasting words

did you take a brick in the break room. we are not good at out long and short vowels.

do not make a mistake.

=================

Standard American

welcome to the USA

trump is our president. I do not think he is real good.

I wish he would turn off the Fawcett of public tax dollars that are being spent

rebuild the railroad. That is twenty times better for the environment than airplanes.

I take climate change seriously. sure.

 

 

=============

Southern USA

it is quarter of tayin

the statue of rober E lee must stay in Charlottesville.

I wish those anti gun people would stop hating on freedom.

I do not like the fancy talk of those people from colleges. #

Do not say that we are dumb. I am a redneck and proud. #

I got my gun and I got my bourbon. I am  aa southern gentleman.

======

Spanish#

I had a collegeau called Olga and she said hello

I said are you from spain

she said how do you know?

I like the revolution in spain when we aere figting against franco he was an asshole saying viva espana

I do not like bullfighting.

rbtish women have a reptuaiton for real whore sin spain.

============

Italian

I am from Italy. I worked in a company for many etars

I know I have this crazy Italian accent,

my voice goes up and down all the time. I like to have a rhythm to the syllabkes

becayse that is the way we spoea in Italoan

with a vowel at tge end of every word

how do you say in the English smart car

what about internet point  or a self bar?

I have a cat and I love she.

========

I am from France. I live in near orissy Charles de gaulle.

I like eat the canard in a sauce berneaise. so say the trut to me. I learn English since ten year.

I speak very good. is Itt possible that you will think I am the English?

France is a republic that give equality to all the people.

In france we have many people of maroc , the bietnman and the sgenral and all are frencg.

 

 

==============

German

I am from the Germany . ya. I speak god english.

in fact English is just the same as german.

I do not like the way people are fixated with 12 years of our history under the nationa; socialist dictatrship

=========

DUTCH

when I got to the amswetrdam schipohl air poort I was told welcome to the betherland and amswertdamn

#I was met by te queen of Holland.

remember in the nertlands you can smoke cannabis but with hard drugs we take a zero tolerance approach.

 

=============

Romania

I hope you like Romania. you are like a communist.

In the kindergarten one kid say alex bite him in the ass.

I like to travel on Romanian railroad. you can go to the see to the water

there are many things I like to do. to control the traffic in the town.

==============

Russia

I live in Russia. do not forget that mother Russia is a great country. in the west

people favour the indivudal too much over the cimmubity

you have forgotten family values.

we have a magnificently rich culture and many heroes such as alexander Kutuzov.

========

Azerbiajna

My country is azerbian republic. we are near to the turkey.

we do not like armenai so much. th

we celebrate bayram and cut the sheep/w

we have big wedding party.

we do not thrown bread on the country . is it not a shame for you?  I have a problem with you.

========

New Zealand

I like Ne Zealand do you like new xealnd?

we are environemtnally friendsly. we dp heaps of things for the enviemenront

it is absolutel ridiculisu nt do do so.

animal rights acitivts recued some hen froma  battery farm yesrrfay

 

================

Jamaica.

you al right? wog won me bredrin. in Jamaica we speak the queens englidh and patois.

usain is te ational bero or Jamaica

but we also like his imperial majesty jan ras tafari

I am living in London in harledon by Willesden junction station

my sn him like him dancing but him no lkke him henglish

him want to oin the harmy#

if you is hungry when you get here were feed you a hamaicam patty.

 

===============

 

 

 

Advertisements

About Calers

Born Belfast 1971. I read history at Edinburgh. I did a Master's at UCL. I have semi-libertarian right wing opinions. I am married with a daughter and a son. I am allergic to cats. I am the falling hope of the not so stern and somewhat bending Tories. I am a legal beagle rather than and eagle. Big up the Commonwealth of Nations.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s