Smash and Grab. The Bank.


An APC pulled up outside the bank. Two sentries stood outside it and looked bemused at the APC’s appearance. One of the sentries had normal proportions reversed – he was as wide as a normal man is tall and as tall as a normal man is wide. This was Kona’s Army.

Gark’s voice from the APC shouted ”Open the door of the bank now or we open fire.”

”We do not have any keys” , said one of the sentries.

”Open it now”. shouted the Gark.

”I told you we do not have the keys”, the man was sounding more scared.

”Show me the keys now.”

”We are not given any keys.” The sentry wracked his brains. Should he run? Should he fire?

”You got give seconds to show me the keys”, said the voice.

One sentry opened fired on the APC and the other ran for his life.

The APC returned fire and shot dead the fatso sentry. The other darted into undergrowth near the bank. Desultory firing in his direction yielded no result. He got clean away.

The sentries really did not have keys.

The APC then opened the bank door by means of a small shell. The explosion reverberated around the concrete buildings of Borno Town.  There had been two more soldiers inside the bank. Poor bastards had been too purblind to leg it. Why were they dying for Kona’s loot? One of the sentries – lay dying.  The other was crawling away wounded. Gark stood over them and coolly put them out of their misery.

Four men piled out of the APC. They were James Henry, Joshua Shooter, Adrian Gark and Chavey.

James Henry was in his mid 30s and a little below normal height. He had a receding hair line – what mid brown hair he had was very tight. He had flaky skin and a disprportionately small nose. His facial expression was always a semi-sneer.

Joshua Shooter had dark blond hair and was coming up for 40. He was lithe and had a pale face, blue piggy eyes and a very earnest manner. He was missing a middle finger on his right hand – amputated. The others were tactful enough not to ask.

Chavey had a head that was too narrow for his body. He had a red birthmark on his forehead. He was self-conscious which is possibly what meant he was permanently in a foul mood.

All four had rucksacks on. James Henry  picked up the dead soldier’s AK 47 and placed it in the APC.

The four coupsters then dashed into the bank. They sidestepped the fresh corpses. Chavey jeered at the dead – he was that sort of person. Nothing could induce him to feel compassion for another.  Once Chavey had expressed his disdain for the dead Henry spat on them – he was very suggestible. Gark felt these two were warped but decided not to say anything – unit must be cohesive. One of the dead men had a withered left arm – this was the sort of man Kona let into the army.

The quickly found the vault. Gark then nimbly placed his charges around the door.

”I have stolen from a few vaults before. I never stolen a whole fucking country” he chuckled. ”Right gelignite is in the right place. I am lighting it boys. You best start running to the far end of the bank and duck down behind something. I will be just behind you.”

The three others hurried off.

In a moment Gark too scampered. He crouched behind a desk that he had noticed was built into the wall. He lay down with his legs together – he did not want any flying debris getting his wedding tackle. He placed his hands over his ears and waited. It was not five seconds before a boom rocked the bank.

Masonry and dusted wafted out of the room where the vault lay.  They were half blind for a moment and temporarily deafened. Their ears rang as though they were listening to a loud speaker being tuned in. Gark was soon on his field and walked briskly towards the vault.

”You three. Look lively. We got some cash to collect.”

Along came Chavey, ”Nice withdrawal”, he laughed. They saw shelves piled high with

”What’s this stuff” said James Henry looking in puzzlement at some purple banknotes with Kona’s face on it. Henry looked through a bundle of banknotes – they were all numbered sequentially. This was a country with many destitute people – he had seen shacks by the road and yet the government went to the trouble of having bank notes piled up in order of their serial number. Perverse priorities these commies have.

”Oh fuck that  – that is Borno money. Get the greenbacks. At the double!”

The men stooped down and began scooping wads of dollars into their rucksacks. Within a minute they had poured out the contents of their rucksacks into the APC and were back for  refill.

Another APC was behind theirs. Four men got out and stood guard around the bank.

Within 5 minutes the bank had been emptied of dollars and the APCs sped to the airport.

”If this does not come off then at least we got the loot” said Chavey. He looked forward to celebrating with a goosestep. The stench of money  – nothing he liked better. Should he really hand it all over? He could easily conceal a bit on his person. He would never be searched. Philipps and Sani could hardly afford to shoot another man.







About Calers

Born Belfast 1971. I read history at Edinburgh. I did a Master's at UCL. I have semi-libertarian right wing opinions. I am married with a daughter and a son. I am allergic to cats. I am the falling hope of the not so stern and somewhat bending Tories. I am a legal beagle rather than and eagle. Big up the Commonwealth of Nations.

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