I wish to pay tribute to Gurbanguly Berdymukhemmedov.
The President is the most splendiferous personage of the past six millennia. For the sake of brevity he shall be referred to as the president hereinafter.
He is a dedicated practitioner of dentistry. He was acclaimed by the people as they leader they craved. He is the saviour of the nation. His intellectualism is world renowned. The most cleverest scholars of the most distinguished universities cannot approach his level of erudition. His writing is abstruse yet lucid. He is also extremely muscular. He is he-man. He is an exceptionally good looking young man and women are thrown at him. Throw themselves at him. His person is like unto a horse.
Turkmenistan has been freed from Russian rule which is why it takes orders from Moscow. The country is now entirely democratic. Its democracy is certified by a true democrat in the shape of Aleksander Lukashenko.
The Turcoman media is the freest in the world. Nowhere else is the media free to compose interminable paeans to the splendour of the president. Quite rights the words and deeds of the national hero are the lead item on the news each day
The president has been beset by malicious rumour mongers. These foul fiends have cast aspersions on his probity.. He is a man of unimpeachable integrity. He is as honest as his hair is black.
Some scurrilous slurs have been made by malevolent persons. Theirs shall be a grisly fate. Those who do not agree with the president are terrorists. Those who criticise the president in private are evil. The president has a solution for such people. A final solution!
Anyone who votes for another party is blatantly in Al Qa’eda. People are either partisans of the president or they are ISIS. There are no other attitudes in the world.
People are very happy to let the president dictate the minutiae of their lives. Every facet of their existence must be governed by the judicious omniscience of the president.
The president is not at all avaricious and lives very simply. He is extremely humble which is why he spends millions on a palace. He looks after the impecunious very well.
At the name Berdymukhammedov the trees clap their hands and sing. He is supercalifragelisticexpialodocious.
Let our motto be one republic, one people, one leader!
Honesty is the worst policy.
Dishonesty is the best policy.
The wages of sin are fantastic.
The wages of sin are enormous.
The wages of sin are very competitive.
(Which of these seems best?)
Bad guys often win.
There is little justice in the world.
Experts are emotional too and subject to psychological pressures almost as much as the unanalytical.
People usually believe what they want to believe and not what the evidence supports.
Money cannot buy you happiness but it can get you out of unhappiness.
There is no limit to greed.
The truth is the funniest thing.
Just because a statement is unattractive does not make it true. Or untrue.
Immorality is lavishly rewarded. Morality is savagely punished.
Always remember that you might be wrong.
Sometimes it is right to give in.
Cultures vary enormously but emotions are universal.
Military superiority does not equate to moral superiority.
Try not to think about money too much or too little.
In a war most people belong to their side not because they are good or bad but because of where they were born.
Liars often succeed.
Everyone is a hypcorite.
Morality is never absolute.
Morality is helping people and immorality is hurting them.
Extreme wealth is not to be admired but despised.
Do not disbelieve everything you read in the papers.
The more a government is slammed by its national press the more honest that government is. Unfree governments do not allow such criticism.
The less emotional you are the more rational you are.
A number is not a principle.
No party has ever been totally ethical.
Guilt is individual and not communal.
A little self-criticism is a good thing.
Never be too sure of your beliefs.
In a dispute it is rare for either side to be 100% wrong.
Those who shout loudest are not always in the right.
Dont’s worry too much about healthy living. Living is always unhealthy because it ends in death.