Daily Archives: February 16, 2013

A dream of Kate Middleton


I dreamt that Kate Middleton had been my girlfriend. I was meeting her a few years on. She was affable and humorous. We smiled and tittered gaily. She wore a magnolia dress fringed with navy blue. She wore high heels and looked as lively and radiant as ever. She was only a few months pregnant. I saucily quipped that maybe I should slip her one for old time;’s sake. It would not be an attempt on the Throne seeing as one cannot impregnate a girl who is already carrying a child. I joked that I could not be executed for treason for this.

I awoke almost believing that this babe used to be my bird.

I elided her in my dream with my slightly chubbier ex girlfriend Claudia. I was thinking of Claudia since I walked past her flat on Fulham Palace Road on Thursday night. First time since 2008. More to the point – she is engaged now. Maybe she will have a baby soon. I often lament that I did not fertilise her.


There was also ane pisode of my dream when I taunted Ilham the smiling snake. I blagged that odious little menstruating cunt into coming to my gaffe at five bells in the morn. The merkin told my mate Neil that I was a bad liar for doing this. In  my dream I patted his prematurely grey head. Drone strike!

A dream of a javelin


I was throwing javelins with school pupils about. It was only a fairly sunny day – no perfect for athletcis. These javelins were plastic and made from a bright colour like day glo orange. It was redolent of Revenge of the Nerds where the specially desopugedn javelin wobbles and thereby travels further. Some teenagers were watching. My colleague Emma the young grandmother was watching. This was several days ago. I cannot think of the significance of it. I was still in Arabia when I bedreamt me of this one.


Odd that I thought of being dismissed and seeking employ at the Oxford institute. This occurred about 2 days before I was given my marching orders. Nelephant did indeed speak to Kate the Russian glamour puss about getting me a job at the other place.